Social Media, A Blessing & A Curse

Technology is a blessing and a curse. 

The technology that connects us, controls us. 

The technology that connects us, manipulates us.

The technology that connects us, polarizes us

The technology that connects us, distracts us

The technology that connects us, monetizes us

The technology that connects us, divides us.

For the last 2 weeks I have been on a social media detox. 

The first one ever in my life that wasn’t because I was out backpacking in the wilderness. 

Moving through this detox has been an extremely eye opening experience for me. 

It’s giving me an opportunity to really assess my relationship with social media (specifically Facebook & Instagram) and offering me reflections that I had some awareness of, but didn’t fully understand prior to now. 

I was born in the early 90’s therefore my generation was the first generation introduced to social media in their youth. However, I still remember days running through the neighborhood with no concern about coming back into the house to check my phone. That’s not the world we live in anymore. 

These days our entire world runs off our smart technology. We rely on it for business, connection, resources… literally everything is connected to our technology. As great as this seems, it comes with a massive array of problems, especially for our mental health & wellbeing.

So let me rewind for a minute and tell you how & why this social media detox came about.

During the first 2 weeks of May I found myself navigating some very dark feelings of depression. Theres many reasons for this and I’ll get into this in some future writing, but I found myself extremely challenged by the state of my mental & emotional health. 

Mental health is something that is very near and dear to my heart. I suffered with my mental health through most of my childhood and in 2017 I came close to ending my life because of it. I am grateful I did not go that route, and instead took a deep dive into trauma work, personal development, and put a greater Importance on my self-care.

During those 2 weeks in early May, I found myself wanting to avoid feeling everything that was coming up, and watched my screen time skyrocket. I felt drained of my life force energy and knew that something needed to shift… but if you’re familiar with feelings of depression, it can be hard to take action on anything when you’re “in it.” But I started showing up for myself the past I could every day, even if in small ways.

As I enhanced my self-care practices, and started doing all the things to support myself, I started gaining some of my energy back but was feeling like my creativity was non-existent. I knew I needed something but I didn’t know what. 

Then, while caught in the IG scroll, I came across something. A program that was being promoted by a coach that I was following, Rachel Bell. The program was called INSPIRATRIX and was designed to help with reconnecting with your creativity, your power, and to help you rise up from the ashes so you could step more fearlessly forwards. 

I felt extremely called to this experience, but I battled whether or not to sign up for this program for about 8 hours that day. I didn’t know Rachel well, but when I listened to her most recent podcast detailing her journey of healing and coming home to herself over the last year, I had this inner knowing that it was what I needed. 

I always say every coach needs a coach, and It's been a while since I’ve felt called to work with someone. So I noted the money fears coming up, identified the limiting beliefs, connected with that knowing that I had within me, and I fearlessly signed up for the 6 week program. 

In our first class (which was the following morning) we dove deep into creativity blockers. We talked about social media and the massive influence it has on brains. As I sat with the darkness, I had the knowing that being on social’s wasn’t giving my brain the space it needed to process & heal. So I opted in to this social media detox.

I decided to re-watch the documentary: the social dilemma (https://www.thesocialdilemma.com/) if you have not seen this, I HIGHLY recommend watching it. And even if you have, I encourage you to re-watch it. It highlights some of the “scaries” around social media as well as the negative impacts it has on your health. One of the biggest being around your mental health. Data is finding a gigantic increase in depression & anxiety in american teenagers (beginning around 2011) and out of 100,000 teenage girls, the numbers admitted to a hospital every year for self mutilation has gone up 62% for those age 15-19, and up 129% in those 10-14 in comparison to 2001-2010 data. The same pattern is seen in suicide rates. Teenage girls (15-19) are up 70% and pre-teen girls are up 151%. In 2009, social media became available on mobile devices. 

As I re-watched this documentary and simultaneously experienced the beginnings of my social media detox, I found myself extremely angry. Angry because it was clear that my brain was being COMPLETELY hijacked by these stupid apps on my stupid phone. Angry that there has not been much of a choice in this progression of technology and social media. Angry that my generation was really the “experiment.” Angry that there is zero regulations that protect social media users. The scary part is that these social media companies understand the impact they are having on the user and yet they choose to do nothing about it because it makes them money… really, watch the social dilemma.

Here was some of what I noticed in the first few days of my SM detox:

• At least 10 times a day (the first 2 days) my brain thought about social media and wanted to go to the apps
• I would be in the middle of a thought or a conversation and feel the need to go onto these apps
• I felt the need to share many parts of what I was doing in my day, and found myself questioning why I felt the need to share it.
• A lot of feelings of FOMO
• Many beliefs coming up around not being able to make money because I wasn’t on social media.
• I found myself spending more time in stillness and being more intentional with my mornings.
• I found myself spending more time without my phone in my hand.
• I found myself doing more writing.
• I found myself emotionally feeling much better.

As the days have gone on it’s become significantly easier. About a week in I was noticing that I was no longer craving the application, but I do still find myself reaching for my phone sometimes to go to it, or going to the spot on my Home Screen that normally houses the SM applications. 

And here I am writing this e-mail to you with some brain space to finally allow my creativity to flow. For the last year I’ve had a deep desire to write more (without the use of AI) and to start a podcast (in the making) but I’ve kept saying “I just don’t have the brain space for it.”

The thing is you only have so much space in your mind, in your day and in your life. Just like space in your closet, you have to get rid of the old to make room for the new. Your mind is the same way. 

So I’m sitting here pondering over my lack of brain space to create the things I desire, and recognizing how much social media has played a HUGE part in taking up that space, leaving me with little room to create. 

The thing about social media is that it offers an immediate dopamine release. Just like substances do. And when you’re scrolling on Instagram or Facebook, every single post you see on your feed triggers another dopamine release. Not only does this impact your mental health, but also your physical health. Over time it influences your hormones (endocrine system) and your sleep cycles. 

And on top of that, we are humans with brains that want to make meaning of everything. So every post we see, our neurons in our brain then begin firing down a path to try to make sense of what we are seeing… Talk about the ultimate distraction… No wonder why I havent had the space in my brain… 

Are there benefits to social media? Absolutely, I believe there are. However, this social media detox is bringing more mindfulness to the ways in which I desire to use it moving forwards. 

I am in the process of re-creating what my relationship looks like with social media when I return. I do know I will be unfollowing all 7K+ people on my Instagram simply to prevent my brain from being so distracted. I don't have to follow someone to connect with them. And it would bring more intention to the ways in which I choose to connect with others. For example, rather than just liking a picture, I can send someone a message and have a conversation, or just send them a voice note or even better, I can go the old school way and call them! When I first started contemplating unfollowing everyone, my first thoughts were “people will be so mad at me.” I took a step back and witnessed myself in these thoughts and realized that if someone even realized I unfollowed them and felt insulted by it, then they weren’t supporting me in what was best for me. Relationship means more to me than a “follow.”

Again it’s interesting to contemplate how social media has shifted our beliefs. 

I invite you to take a step back to witness how social media is impacting you, your beliefs, your fears, and has led you to exhibit certain habits & behaviors... maybe you want to do a social media detox too. 

Questions to think about:

What is your relationship with social media?

How much screen time do you engage in daily? How about specifically on the SM apps?

What beliefs do you have around social media?

In your mind, is social media linked with success? (calling on my entrepreneurs)

How many hours a day do you spend on social media?

Do you scroll immediately upon waking up or going to bed?

What is social media taking time or energy away from?

What is social media preventing you from?

How has social media shaped the ways in which you connect to the earth & the world around you?

Some powerful things to be with in contemplation. I hope this offers you new perspectives, new levels of awareness and an opportunity to create change.

I'd love to hear from you! 

Have ever done an intentional social media detox? 

If you have not, what’s holding you back? What thoughts come up for you?

If you have, what did you learn or gain from your experience?

E-mail me and let me know!

[email protected]

Its always your choice,

Leah